Trouble Is As Trouble Does

My last update was shortly after the Great Sophie Bed Massacre of 2010 and just prior to the great Thanksgiving Day Mattress Pad Massacre of 2010. On the off chance that last one requires some explanation, I'll save the drama and just give you the Reader's Digest version.

Thanksgiving Day. Left home with Grandma and Grandpa for maybe 30 minutes. The little shit-dog snuck upstairs to the bedroom and dug a giant hole in the center of our mattress pad. A deliberate act of defiance for leaving her home. I'm sure of it. Only good news is, she stopped when she hit mattress. Black Friday sales being what they were, the replacement mattress pad was only $18.99, free shipping. Thank you Kohls.

So I didn't kill her.

As the Christmas decorations have gone up, Ruby has found plenty of additional ways to get herself in trouble. First, she paced in fear as the boxes came up from the basement. For a brief time we added outdoor lights to the 'things to be terrified of' list but that passed. After all the decorations are up, Ruby has learned that the following acts will get her in trouble:

• Taking candy out of the advent calendar.
• Taking ornaments off the tree.
• Walking around with a santa hat hanging out of her mouth.
• Grabbing ribbons off the tree on the front porch on her way to pee in the yard.
• Biting the tree lights.

To name a few.

Ruby being Ruby, Christmas decorations aren't the only way she's found trouble in the last couple of weeks. As the weather has gotten cold, very cold, her desire to spend adequate potty time in the yard is waning. The first big snow last week dropped about 7-8 inches in the yard. It's funny to remember that this was the dog who, in March, was peeing on the tiniest remaining pile of snow in the back yard because it was all she knew. But Friday night when it was snowing again, she was timid. By Saturday morning with piles of snow everywhere, she was nothing short of skittish. Where do I walk? Can I put my feet in it? How does it smell? WHERE DO I POOP!?!?

And THEN the snowblower started. She freaked. I put her in her kennel until we were done with the initial cleanup because she was so stressed out. But by afternoon, she had fallen in love with the snow. Running through the back yard like a gazelle, bounding through the drifts, and coming to the back door with piles of snow on her nose when I could get her attention. It also seems that the squirrels were extra busy this weekend, or at least extra visible. This picture was from our bedroom window. The tree is just outside and this big fat squirrel sat eating berries and openly mocking the dog. It was a busy weekend.

And then came Monday. Ruby was DEFIANT about peeing at 5:30 in the morning, but I dressed her in her sweatshirt to try and help the cold thing (didn't help). I finally got my coat on and stepped out with her where I outlasted her in the front yard, freezing my tail off right along with her until she gave in. Then she came in and refused to eat her breakfast. I think she knows its a workday and stalls thinking I'll give in and stay home with her. Since she won't eat, we put her food in her kennel with her.

At the end of Monday:

She must have tried desperately to get the bowl turned over, given the large dents in the bottom of it.

So Tuesday comes around and the routine continues. Put on sweatshirt (she hates that part), reluctantly leave the front door, pee because the cold won't let her hold it in, shiver annoyingly against the house. Sneak to the back door, then back to the front door, finally forcing the Mom out of the house to shiver in the cold. Give in and poop after pacing a good solid 4 minutes to pick a spot in the snow (WHY oh why is it so hard to pick where you are going to poop!?!?) Into the house to mope around and refuse to eat. In the kennel with the food bowl for the work day.

And today, we got THIS: 

Those black strips all over the floor are the pieces of the plastic tray that lined the bottom of her kennel. 

Let me clarify:

Ruby. Ate. Her. Kennel.

Clearly she is miserable in her kennel. But I'm sure you saw the video of what used to be Sophie's bed the LAST time we left her out to roam the house all day. So here's my plan. I will puppy-proof every inch of this house tomorrow morning. And we will leave her out. I will run home at lunch and make certain she hasn't destroyed anything. Or, more likely, I will clean up piles of fluff from the couch, or strips of what used to be our curtains, or I'll have to go price out new carpet after work.

Wish me luck.

Favorite picture of the week is easy.