Long Overdue

My throng of reader (those aren't typos) is due an apology for my lack of blogging. Or bloglessness. Or whatever is the appropriate terminology. You'll be glad to know I have a whole host of excuses, each one a little more believable (and true) than the last. Or not.

I became a witch and for the last two weeks have been plucking the heads off live chickens.

No?

OK, then I was arrested for public indecency and had to serve my community service over the last two weeks, scrubbing the outside of the church that I defaced by drawing Calvin and Hobbes cartoons in purple Sharpie.

No?

I've spent the last two weeks trapped under something heavy. Fortunately, it was my couch and I survived on random Pop Tart crumbs and stale popcorn.

Alright, the for-real excuse is I've just been so damn busy. Work has been insane and by the time I get home and give Ruby her now much-needed daily exercise, I'm completely spent. Two weekends ago we were in Chicago and last weekend was just...busy I guess. Also, my free download of Outlook took a dump and now I can't e-mail my iPhone pictures and video to the computer to upload them to here. I hope to be buying Outlook this weekend and have that problem corrected. (and no, you can't upload photos to the blog from the iPhone. I tried.)

So Ruby, my Great Dane...no my AWESOME Dane, is doing splendidly. Not sure I can capture the entirety of the last two weeks, but I'll try. It goes something like this:

weighs 34 pounds/created muddy mess on family room floor in the blink of an eye when snow started melting/HAS to have walks everyday/is in love with Allan who takes her for long walks everyday/went to the dog park to play came home super muddy but loved it/learned to counter-surf/LEARNED TO CATCH TREATS IN HER MOUTH!!! but only sometime/is less of a mamma's girl but still loves me more than anyone else she knows...'cept maybe Allan/continually gets ass kicked by the cat/is enjoying outside/ discovered why Sophie goes ballistic when the squirrels come up on the deck/is eating a TON of food everyday but growing slower/kicked extermely bad habit of attacking food bowl and now waits patiently for the 'OK' to eat/legs get beefier on a minute-to-minute basis/doesn't understand why couches are off limits oh who am I kidding she just doesn't CARE that couches are off limits/is much better with strangers/is MUCH calmer around cars and other outside noises thanks to Allan's long daily walks/needs to understand that an alarm that goes off at 4:40am so she can have a walk should NEVER be usurped by a puppy who wakes up at 4:35am/goes through rawhide chews like water/tonight discovered pig hooves and now has barnyard breath/mamma bought her a new car today so she has a place to sit without trashing the seats/is less afraid of the noisy boys in the house/has the occasional potty accident, but is doing very well in that department/is still the sweetest puppy/doesn't understand that the lap is not getting smaller (I WISH), SHE is getting bigger/ geese flying overhead are terrifying/PETCO is known as 'the candy store'/met Grandma and Grandpa Monroe and LOVED them/spending the whole day in the kennel now so mamma get's lunches again!/printer, because it goes off randomly (in Ruby's mind) is absolutely terrifying too/somehow still manages to squeeze body through railing but it looks painful/randomly pulled a dozen tissues out of a box before I could get to her one day/stopped barking at the hair dryer/loves to take showers with me/doesn't hate baths either/raised food bowl twice in the last week, cat can't reach it now/till hates toys that make noises making the list of ways to annoy her almost endless.

So that's the nutshell. Sorry it's short and has no pictures. I'll try to do better.

Thanks for reading!!