Substitute

My performance evaluation, in Ruby's words:

I have to give Mom credit, the replacement she picked is smarter than he looks. I tried multiple times to get him to let me do things that Mom never lets me do, but he saw right through me every time. Things like:

I am allowed to tear apart my bed and run around with the stuffing hanging out of my mouth

I get fed every single time I scratch at the food box, no matter what time it it

Its perfectly alright to eat cookies off the counter

Mom always lets me bark at the bulldog at 2 in the morning

EVERY yard is my yard

No matter what I tried, he knew I wasn't supposed to do it. I think Mom must have left him directions somewhere. I must find and destroy these ASAP.

But now The Boy is leaving me! First Mom and Dad left, then Jamie, and now The Boy! I SCARE EVERYBODY AWAY!!! He tells me that Emily's coming to watch me for the rest of the week. Maybe she won't know about all those rules.

I MISS MOM AND DAD!