A year old...REALLY?

As she sits here next to me, legs folded under her like a lawnchair in her post doggie daycamp state of exhaustion, I can't believe that Ruby is almost a year old. When I picked her from the litter of 8 at only 5 weeks old last December, it was because I looked down and saw that she had climbed into my lap in precisely the position she lays in right now, while I was distracted by 7 other energetic puppies. So as I've said before, it was more like she picked me.

It is remarkable how such a tiny body could grow...essentially 9 times her bring-home weight of 9lbs 2oz...in under a year. Nobody can lift her to weigh her any longer, so we're just guessing she's around 100 pounds. And at her back, she is officially table height. Her face rests comfortably on the kitchen table at any time.

For all my complaining about her various transgressions, I love this silly dog. Most days she's in trouble more than out of it, but it turns out she CAN be trained. When she looks at me like I'm the greatest human on earth, I know that at least in Ruby's world, I really am. And, on even my worst days, when everybody else on the planet is pissed off at me, I can always count on Ruby to look at me and smile her big, goofy, slobbering smile. She's really my best buddy and as I've recovered from this stupid knee surgery, it's been great having her by my side (or safely on the floor at my feet).

I have to return to work tomorrow, a few hours a day this week and then full time next week. I could lie and say I'm looking forward to it, but, well, that would be a lie. But at least I get to look forward to coming home to a wonderful family who, though sometimes collectively or individually pissed off at me, still support and love me, and to this big droopy-eyed, lovable dog, who will never see me as anything but perfect. That feels pretty good.

Enough of the sloppy stuff...

So I've written about Ruby's constant dismantling of various toys. Every once in awhile I try and patch some of them back together, unless they are too far gone and then they sleep with the fishes. Last week, deep in a Vicodin haze and needing something to do, I pulled out some of the headless, legless and stuffingless toys and started to patch. Then I got creative. Perhaps it was the drugs.

So that's formerly Rasta Monkey, wearing Floppy Squirrel's face as a mask, huddled up with Headless Horsey, now sporting Rasta Monkey's dreads. Together, they are now known as Squirrel Monkey and Rasta Horsey (who was very happy to have his head reattached to his body).

I guess I'm channeling my inner Sid (please get obscure Toy Story reference).

Ruby doesn't seem to care, she plays with them like she always did. I gotta wonder if she has nightmares though. :)

Favorite picture of the week requires a little explanation. That's an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos on TV. Two squirrels stalking a bowl of Halloween candy with one of those motion-activated scary hands that slaps when you get close. Ruby shot off the couch and started barking and leaping at the TV when she saw the raccoons. 

It must be so confusing for her. 'They're here, but I can't GET them!'

Carry on...

Out Of Office

So for once I have a legitimate excuse for not bringing you all a Ruby update. A week ago today I had ACL reconstruction surgery on my left knee. I've spent the better part of the last week in a horizontal position, whacked out on Vicodin, and being somewhat pathetic. To pass the time I've been watching a lot of home improvement television, doing a little sewing, and, well...sleeping off the Vicodin.

The before:                                                                                       The after:

Ruby spent two days at camp last week. That was just a win-win all the way around. She came home with a twisted ankle on Monday, but seemed to be over it by the time she went back on Thursday. She's had a hard time understanding why Mom is very hands-off. No snuggling on the couch as we did the day before surgery:




















For a day or two after surgery we pulled out the hide-a-bed and Ruby was thrilled that there was room for her (on my right side only).


She developed an immediate fear of both my knee brace and my crutches. So while a little fear of her knocking me over still exists, if I have either apparatus around me, it's a bit like a force field. She's getting  a little better with the crutches and just takes a wide path around me all the time.

While I've been recovering, Ruby has been up to a few projects of her own. First, she took on a little sewing project, but she didn't get past the thread.

Then, she decided to work on another fluff project, dismantling one of her beds. I believe that's three down now, officially.

Between that, terrorizing the cat, stalking the squirrels, abusing Sophie, barking incessantly at every noise in the house and running across the neighborhood (because she knows I can't chase her) every time I let her out, she has earned herself another day at camp tomorrow. Again, it's good for everyone.

Favorite pic of the week.  If you can't snuggle with Mom...Dad's a pretty good substitute:

Squirrel!

It is definitely fall, with temps dipping into the 40s making for chilly mornings and evenings, leaves changing, and days getting shorter. The only important thing about fall to Ruby, however, is the bushy-tailed creatures that mock her from every window and every corner of the yard. She stalks them. CONSTANTLY.

Squirrel encounters (or near-misses) this week are too numerous to count. Every time the back door is opened for her, Ruby races out and leaps off the deck at the trees. And leaps. And leaps. Roughly every other time there's a squirrel in the yard so she's rewarded regularly for her attempts. This keeps her going, watching, and waiting. She's learned of several great viewing locations. 

The spot in this picture (standing on the back of the couch) is a favorite, and often a perfect view with a small tree just a few feet from the window that the critters use to get on our roof (and chew through our satellite cable but that's another story). She's can't usually SEE the squirrel unless it moves, and this one was particularly stealthy, just hanging on the tree literally right in front of her nose. We told her it was there and she was on point. But as soon as she turned her head, it scurried up and onto the roof and she never saw it.

Another near miss when Ruby was coming home from camp Thursday and saw the squirrel in the front yard before I did. I thought she was going out the window, but I managed to get the car stopped and the back door open in time for her to chase it up a tree. There is one large tree in the front yard, the kind a squirrel can hide in, but can't get to other trees or roofs from. In other words, he has to come down sometime. Ruby camped out at the base of the tree, watching him for several minutes.

I was very proud of my big protective dog, patrolling the grounds, keeping out the critters. Until she got bored waiting, stood up, pulled a piece of bark off the tree and started eating it. With me, Ruby, AND Sophie all at the base of the tree, but with the more threatening of the three of us occupied with a piece of BARK, the squirrel saw his opening and made a break for it, racing down the tree, across the yard, and under the neighbor's fence to safety. By the time the dogs got their wits about them, there was nothing but a squirrel vapor trail and a little poof of dust under the fence. Our little fury invader proceeded to climb the neighbor's tree and heckle the dogs from above for the next few minutes. Pretty sure Ruby still thinks he's up there.

My favorite Ruby story of the week...she went to camp on Thursday, chased the squirrel (above) and then came in only to find out that the Dad had decided it was bath day. Sophie was already clean, and Ruby fell for the oldest trick in the book ("come get a treat!!!") and immediately had a bath. She managed a few laps around the house, and then was shivering cold. I know, she's a sissy. But it was chilly that evening, and since she ATE her kennel bed, she didn't have a place to keep warm. So I got out her hoodie. It did the trick keeping her warm and keeping the wet dog smell out of the couch. By then the activity of the day had set in. And she was too tired to fight it. I guess sleep trumps humiliation.

After her dinner at 5:30pm.

At 7:00 PM.

At 8:30pm (very little change in an hour and a half):

And at 9:30pm when Sophie was playing with the Dad and Ruby was fed up with the noise (make sure you have the sound turned up):

What a mouth on that girl!

In other news, she is now eating only twice a day, but still 6 cups a day. Occasionally she seems to think I've forgotten to feed her before bed, but she's not waking me up in the middle of the night, so I'm calling it good. And not a single potty accident weeks and weeks now. Also, I finally watched Homeward Bound with her. She digs that movie. I mean, who doesn't?? It's a classic. 

We are still sticklers for the 'no dogs on the bed rule.'  Even if we got rid of the queen-size and moved to a king, there wouldn't be room for her. And the bulldog. AND the cat. So the rule stands, but it doesn't keep her from trying. 

Favorite Ruby Picture Of The Week:

Stay classy, girlfriend.

Welcome Back.

After a week rejuvenating in sunny Jamaica...wait, no, that's not EXACTLY how it went. Thanks to Tropical Storm Nicole, the vacation wasn't relaxing, rejuvenating, or sunny. Mostly wet and stressful. Wet and stressful with friends, but still.

ANYwho...Ruby had to live without her favorite human (me) for a whole week. Once again three of the four kids tag-teamed pet and house care and all went well. I'm told there were a couple of Ruby romps through the neighborhood, and she ate another of her beds. She also spent two bonus days at doggie day camp. I tried to 'talk to her' on the phone from the Atlanta airport (what else is one to do during a 6-hour layover). She was deeply engaged in the conversation until a squirrel bounced through the front yard. That was the end of that.

So after the most stressful vacation in recent history, and then 17 hours of travel to get home to 48 degree weather, my greeting was something like this:



Remarkably, it was the highlight of the week. :) (I apologize for the commercial...YouTube.)

Since returning home, she's gone about her daily business. Chasing one of her two butterflies, and getting to know her new friend, who we call Rasta Monkey. He came directly from the Montego Bay airport and he annoys the living daylights out of her. Which makes it fun for everyone. I can't even get a decent pictures of her with it.




A few other developments...Ruby is officially down to two feedings a day. She hasn't had an accident in the house for over a month now. Well over a month. The Bell, originally hang on the back door for potty alerts is now used for squirrel stalking as well. But hey, as long as she gets hte meaning behind it.

The following chart outlines the remainder of Ruby's 'free time.' Please don't make fun of me. Charts speak to me.



She excels at being annoying right now. Case in point:



I guess we call that the new version of a laptop. Or a lap dog. Or a laptopdog.

And my favorite photo of the week:



All for now...

I LOVE MY DOG

Yesterday was Ruby's 10-month birthday. Fortunately, she seems to have grown out of hyper-energy puppy and into reasonably relaxed dog almost overnight. At the same time, she stopped gobbling her food, and has become somewhat of a grazer instead of an inhaler. She's kind of a whole new dog. I've even started leaving her to roam free in the house while I'm gone for short amounts of time. Today she was out all day, and I was gone a number of hours, but with stops back to drop off groceries and things while I was running errands. Every time she was just laying in her chair, waiting for mom to come home. I like this and hope the trend continues. I'm tired of walking around that giant kennel.

Ruby loves to wake me up on Friday mornings. This is the first thing I see:



Also as she's gotten older, she seems to recognize when certain critters are not worth the trouble to chase, depending on how far from her they are. She does love her some squirrel chasin' though. Monday, I unlocked and opened the back door to let her out without looking first. She saw the squirrel long before he saw her, or I saw him. I've seen this dog jump long distances before, but this was a remarkable feat. She hit the edge of the deck and all I saw was her leaping like a gazelle, five feet off the ground at least, landing a good 12-15 feet in the flowerbed at the back of the yard. Of course the squirrel took immediate refuge in the closest tree and then cackled annoyingly at her. I fear the day she actually catches one. Or maybe I'm looking forward to it. :)

With fall coming fast, there is no shortage of critters to chase, or at least watch. We have filled the peanut bowl at the back door in hopes that our raccoon friends will return. I have a feeling the first time they do, you'll see Kevin and I at Menards the next day buying replacement screen and/or glass. We also had possums, fox, and of course dozens of squirrels last year. So this will be fun.

Ruby had company last weekend, hosting a two-day visit from Cousin Murphy from Wisconsin. Murphy is who gave Ruby her favorite toy in the whole world...Butterfly. He brought her ANOTHER butterfly. And for some strange reason, New Butterfly is just as big a hit. Within an hour, the two dogs had field-dressed New Butterfly and all his inards were falling out. So he was stitched up right away and has a lovely bright blue scar to show for it. Ruby is her happiest when she's on the couch next to me with both her butterflies on her paws. Big silly dog.

I know some dogs watch TV. Some dogs glance at it. Ruby LOVES tv. Anything with cats and dogs. I've started recording things like America's Funniest Animals just because she enjoys it so much. Her favorite segment on this one is that of a white cat jumping at bugs on the window.



She does this every time she watches it. Every. Time. And it never gets old for us.

So today, I splurged and bought her a double pack that includes Homeward Bound I and Homeward Bound II. And I bought the Marmaduke movie. I haven't watched it all yet, but I have to say, a lot of it made me laugh out loud. It's just so Ruby! Particularly when Marmaduke eats a grilled cheese sandwich OFF THE COUNTER.

On the list of things that must piss off dogs more than anything, is dog clothing. And I'm not a fan, never have been. But my regular readers will recall how much trouble I had keeping Ruby warm in the dead of winter last year. The other Dane in the neighborhood wears a race horse blanket when she walks. It isn't a puppy thing, it's a Great Dane thing. They have no fat, so they get cold super fast. So weighing my personal dislike for animal clothing against Ruby's well-being and knowing that winter isn't far away...




That's right, it's a red hoodie. Complete with pockets! Not sure what the pockets are good for. I guess it's just a 'LOOK'. Hey, at least she'll stay warmer. Yep...favorite picture of the week:

Oy...this dog.

Since I received no viable purchase orders for the Rubinator, the fun and games continue.

A couple of weeks back, the boy finally purchased his first vehicle. A 1991 Jeep. Ruby got to take her first ride in it, with Sophie, to the dog park. They love the open-air riding, but it makes me a nervous wreck. One wrong move, and either of them could be tumbling out. So it was a short ride, with my hands on each of their collars the whole way.

There's not very much room for Ruby. Then again, there doesn't seem to be much room for Ruby anywhere these days.


She's been mostly good around the house since the muffin/curtain fiasco of a few weeks ago. No illegal snacking on anything. Only the occasional crazy puppy run that nearly upturns the furniture. Her obsession with Butterfly continues. Tonight, she managed to tear it, playing with The Dad. Luckily, The Dad was able to stitch it up quickly before Ruby had a panic attack. If I could find another Butterfly, I'd buy one or two. Honestly, the dog can't even sleep without it these days. It's her binky.

We headed north on a road trip to WI this past weekend. Ruby enjoyed Grandma Wisniewski's house. Likely her LAST visit, as she wore out her welcome quite quickly.


Yeah. The Wisconsin curtains taste just as good as the Illinois curtains. Apparently.

Ruby refuses to admit that she has nearly outgrown her favorite 'waiting for Mom' chair. I should get her an ottoman so she doesn't drip out of it.



Sorry to be so brief. Things are a little nutty around here this week. With a ruptured ACL, I am not in any condition to walk her. Can't take a chance on her taking me down. So she gets two days at daycamp this week, Kevin walked her Monday, and Allan walked her today (Wednesday). No shortage of exercise for Gigantor. Its a good thing, because it may be quite awhile before I can manage her.

The parting shot...The truck is nice to travel in, but not a lot of room for the dogs.

FOR SALE

GREAT DANE PUPPY

Nine months old. 92 pounds and growing. Not very bright. Mostly potty trained.

Pouts when in trouble.



Eats 6 cups of dog food per day, supplemented with tasty treats like cookies and cinnamon rolls. Raw cinnamon rolls are fine, but recently discovered that freshly baked are preferred. Noxious vapor from dog butt after cinnamon rolls smells nothing like cinnamon, but could possibly be used as paint stripper.

Chew toys need not be provided, as curtains hanging in close proximity to crate suffice.



Hobbies include chasing cats, stalking squirrels, bunnies, toads, cicadas, leaves, sticks, acorns, and running from garden hoses. Also enjoys dancing.



Strong attachment to mother figure causes frequent bouts of depression.



Price negotiable, but unfortunate love current owner has for the sometimes despicable beast means price starts at $1,000,000.

To The Moon

Because she's been extra dorky this week, Ruby's blog is in need of an update.

We had company for dinner both Tuesday and Wednesday. Ruby is still very timid around people she doesn't know, but then warms up. She can be intimidating because of her size. People who don't show any fear, she warms up to right away. Anyone who is visibly afraid, she backs away and barks. Or hides behind me. Such a sissy. Anyway, she made friends with our traveling buddy, John, on Tuesday night. But not without a warning bark every time he would leave the room and come back. We decided she has some sort of missing synapse in the short-term memory compartment of her tiny Great Dane brain. It was like he was brand new even if he just went in the bathroom.

Kevin spent some quality time tormenting her Tuesday night by throwing Butterfly onto the pergola over the deck. Ruby has no concept of UP so would lose it completely and just freak out trying to find it.

Thursday, she went to camp. Running out to greet me, as always, she threw her big stupid paws over the swinging door at camp. The staff there was giggling at her, calling her a dork. I couldn't agree more. On the drive home, she was sitting in the front passenger seat, changed positions, and before I knew it, was mooning all the cars in the right lane. Her butt was hanging completely out the passenger window. And she looked very comfortable and content. I had hold of her collar just in case she slipped.

I've never so desperately wanted a picture. But with one hand on the wheel and one on the dog, I was out of luck.

Your welcome, Scott. ;)

This morning, after dropping Allan at school, she rode the rest of the way to Towanda with her head out the moonroof. Wind blowing the big flapping jowls around. And she was making her ridiculous Chewbaca noise into the wind. It was hilarious, and one of the dorkiest things I've seen her do in awhile.

We had to head to the vet this morning for a Bordatella booster. That brings me to the only pictures of the week.

First, looking at the door out...desperately wanting to run away...














And this is how stressed this puppy gets at the vet. I guess if I were her, I might feel the same way.




91 pounds today. 9 months old. :)

First, 'regular posts' means something different to everyone. So stop hassling me. ALLAN.

Ruby has been surprisingly good lately. No illegal snacking, only the occasional romp through the neighborhood (which she likes to think of as her BIG backyard), no potty messes, thanks to that elaborate system of open doors, closed doors, propped doors, and bells. It's a bit of a maze in the middle of the night but we've learned to deal. She occasionally still breaks the rules of course. Including the NO DOGS ON THE BED rule:

Ahem.

While visiting some great friends in Massachusetts last weekend, Ruby stayed home alone with The Boy. All went well, nothing was out of place once we returned and Ruby was well-exercised and happy to see us both. The intense heat is starting to subside so she is getting regular walks and is still going to day camp about once a week. The kids start school tomorrow so we have a whole new schedule to deal with. Will have to see how that goes. I'm not even sure who gets home first starting tomorrow. The boy, I believe. So that will make Ruby very happy. She loves him almost as much as she loves me. Almost.

She's been very healthy and this weekend I even took her off the Benadryl to see if whatever was wrong with her skin has subsided. So far so good. It's clear that the Benadryl had a nice calming affect on her. Now that it's gone, she's a bit of a wild child again. Her Crazy Puppy Runs through the house are very exciting. She did manage to take out a lamp this week, snapping the shade from the lamp. Everything but the bulb survived with a little creative bending. That was all due to a crazy puppy run. But it's hard to get mad at her. She's just such a big goof.

Her fluff obsession continues. This week, both a slipper and her favorite squirrel stuffed toy bit the dust. The slipper was hers, which apparently means 'hers to destroy.' So from now on, if she is seen with something containing fluff, it gets confiscated immediately.

She does have one favorite toy. We just call it Butterfly. It was a gift from her cousin Murphy when she was just a wee tot and she LOVES it. Butterfly will disappear from time-to-time and then someone will find it under furniture or stuffed in the couch cushions, or some other random hiding place. When Ruby catches site of Butterfly, she lights up, does her Jack Russell leap, and will stop at nothing to get it. I find it rather adorable that she can fit all of Butterfly in her mouth and her big flappy gums cover up any trace of him.

Sometimes when she's really bored, she plays catch with herself. A few days ago, she was throwing Butterfly up in the air and he accidentally went behind the couch. Talk about a stressed out dog! I wasn't sure she was going to survive.

OMG he's DOWN there! I can't reach him!!













SEEEE!!!














FINALLY!














She needs to get back to the vet on Friday for a bordatella. I will have an official weight after that. Tomorrow is her 9-month birthday. My gift to her is to not yell at her for anything all day. We'll see how that goes. I don't think Dr Burk will have any concerns with her growth.














Favorite picture of the week...she's started backing in and sitting down. On people. On furniture. On the front seat of my car (she's officially big enough to ride shotgun and see over the dash with her feet on the floor and butt on the seat). On Sophie if she's sitting still...and Sophie is usually sitting still. And, if you sit on the floor, you run the risk of becoming a seat for Ruby as well.


All for now...

Wrasslin'

Seriously, this never gets old.

A portion of this evening's wrestling match...

Cans and Bells.

Having been publicly chastised by The Boy for not living up to my promise of regular updates to the blog, I am taking a break from my 'day off' to write another blathering blog about that big galoot we call Ruby.




When we last left our slobbering puppy, I had just reported on her consumption of an entire batch of M&M cookies (M&M is a registered trademark of M&M Mars. any similarities to persons, living or dead, is strictly coincidence. offer void where prohibited) Later that same week, I got a call from Jamie at work that started with 'YOUR DOG...' Uh-oh. Jamie had put cinnamon rolls on a baking dish and had a seat in the living room while waiting for the oven to heat up. 'I turned my back for 2 minutes Mom!' Ruby ate 5 of the 8 cinnamon rolls before Jamie's cat-like reflexes stopped her progress. They caused her little gastrointestinal issues, other than some serious gas for the next three days. And let's just say, it smelled nothing like cinnamon rolls. Jamie was a trooper and said 'I was only going to eat three cinnamon rolls anyway.' What a sport.

Cute and adorable and blog-worthy as it is, the dog eating off the counter is unacceptable. Yelling doesn't work and she is hard to catch in the act. And so far, we've not found ANYTHING she won't eat. So, we've pulled out the big guns to combat this latest behavior issue.

It is known simply as 'THE CAN.'



The can is just what it looks and sound like. Except it has a handful of pennies in it. Aunt Pam gave us the idea for THE CAN. A few times of shaking the can loudly when Ruby is... 1)eating Sophie's food 2)chasing the feline 3) counter-surfing 4)barking at people daring to walk in the neighborhood 5) snorking through the neighbor's compost pile 6)digging in the yard 7)etc 8)etc 9) etc...renders her so terrified she cowers and hides. Even food won't bring her near when she sees THE CAN. It is so effective, we have to use it very sparingly. Even picking up THE CAN quickly and causing the aluminum to pop or a penny to shift sends her scurrying for cover. I'm thinking of marketing THE CAN. Maybe I can get that dog whisperer dude to put his name on it.

So now, if there are baked goods of any kind unsecured on the counter, THE CAN will be found sitting at the edge. She will see it, and then go lay down as if to say 'i'll be a good dog i promise i'll be a good dog i really really will!'

Ruby's other new slip-up is in the poop department. We seem to be stumbling on the ability to TELL the humans it is time to go out. So several nights in a row, she snuck downstairs and pooped in the front living room. When we shut doors, she pooped in OUR bathroom. And even during the day, she would be unable to tell us she needed to go out. Another friend, with a tiny snack dog, gave us a great idea.

We call it THE BELL.



Ruby caught on right away, as did Zamboni the cat though it is more delightful toy than alarm device for him. Ruby uses it for good, and evil (there's a cat in the yard and I need to chase it), but she is using it. Training her on it was easy. I won't open the door until she rings it. One morning when she had been sent to isolation in her kennel for the night for NOT popping before bed (not so much as punishment, just because I knew she would go in the night), she was whining to wake up. I opened her kennel, she RACED to the door and rang that bell like the cook on a cattle drive.

Since it seems to have caught on with her, I need to get a couple of bells. Then I can stop bringing one to the bedroom door every night.

Maybe I'll market this as well. I'll do an infomercial. I'll make millions.

Ruby recently broke the 80 pound mark. That means she weighs more than a bag of concrete. That means I can't lift her AT ALL any longer. She's still taking 6 Benadryl a day for the breakouts on her feet. If I miss a dose, I will see her chewing and licking her feet. I hope this stops after summer. Or that the Benadryl had some calming effect. But it seems to do the opposite. **sigh**

Zamboni the cat has been spending considerable time outside this summer. He has a couple of cat friends that we see him hanging out with and they usually appear fairly companionable. Last week something went terribly wrong with the cat we call Big Orange Cat and a scuffle broke out outside the living room window. Zam came in unscathed, but shaken. Big Orange took off. Ruby was in the family room window on point. Not sure if she was worried about her cat or simply curious. I'd like to think her brain goes that deep, but let's face it, this is the dog that is afraid of THE CAN. So probably not. But the picture was cute:



As if she didn't have enough reasons to attack every dark object, leaf, stick, and acorn on the ground right now, it is cicada season. And Ruby finally got one. Their noise is deafening. Otherwise, they are completely harmless. And since there are plenty of them, I've sacrificed a couple for Ruby's enjoyment.



Call PETA. I. Don't. Care. It's funny.

I always like to leave with my favorite picture of the week. I started down the basement stairs last week and saw a few piece of fluff on the floor. When I got to the bottom, I found this:



At least it was her own bed and not one of our couches or something. Brat.

More later.